Don’t Fret & Fear!

(Psalms 37)

 Three months ago, Sunday evening, I received a heart breaking news in my life—the sudden passing of my dearly mother due to cardiac arrest, six days before the mini English camp. I was preoccupied of the preparations in the center for the said event, plus on top of that was the fast approaching midterm examinations, sprouting staff prayer ministry in the center, bible study among two teachers, CSM Bible School, and village kids’ ministry are progressing. I couldn’t ask for more…these took me into a different level of faith, service, and obedience.

Saturday morning, when BSOP team had its prayer fellowship and at the same time our official meeting for our upcoming home assignments. The team was giving objective suggestions what I could have done with my mother because they knew how I longed to spend quality time with my mother in my furlough this year. Thus, when they received the news about my mother the following day on Sunday late afternoon, they were devastated. No one dares to inform me at first because I was in the school, but in prayer they gather together on how to relay the sad news to me. God’s love was so gentle that even in the worst situation of my life His peace was so evident and for more than 24 hours of wrestling in tears, bargaining to God without sleep in prayer was a painful experience yet His comfort was beyond to explain. This excruciating situation harnessed my faith and trust in God to the highest level.  He doesn’t want me to fret but rather God renewed my commitment in the midst of affliction. Consequently, He sent His people to comfort me and provided for my airplane tickets so I can be with my grieving family in the Philippines. Probably, many will not understand how I felt and what I am going through…I am just a very close daughter to her. I love her very much…She was and is God’s wonderful gift to me and will always be part of me.  And writing this letter did not happen without tears running on my cheeks and for three months, I refused to write my news updates because of my heavy heart and with busy schedules as well that somehow helped me cope and heal. Indeed, God’s awesome presence gives me strength, wisdom, comfort, peace, love and hope when I needed it most.

My family celebrates our mother’s life and legacy when I got home. We were in pain yet it was a gain, because we are assured of where she is now, absolutely happy without pain and above all, home with the Lord. God’s compassion and comfort is indeed among His people. The following month, I returned to Cambodia by God’s provision. God is faithful! I just couldn’t imagine how time flies with all the circumstances and ministries, God’s strength and awesome presence have shaped my perspective in life, family, and ministry. These are all wonderful testimonies of who He is. I may not like the timing but this is another opportunity to trust in Him, to learn, to grow, to understand and to know God in a far better way, is enough. Now, what I need is not to fret and fear but rather trust and obey God.

My humble gratitude to all of you, thank you for your prayer, understanding, and sympathy throughout the ordeal that my family and I went through. Now, with hope in Jesus, what a great reunion we’ll have in heaven someday! May the Lord of peace, love, and joy be upon each and everyone of us.

In Christ,

Mary Jane ‘bing’ Aragon

BSOP, Cambodia missionary